In a flight

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome
to Flight 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The
weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and
uneventful flight. Now, please sit back and relax - OH MY GOD!"

Silence.

Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said,

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier,
but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup
of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see
the front of my pants!"

A passenger in Coach piped up, "That's nothing... You should
see the back of mine!"