One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.
Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine."
The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing. The people stared -- how can he say his heart is more beautiful, they thought?
The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed. "You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."
"Yes," said the old man, "Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love - I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared.
"Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges -- giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?"
The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands.
The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges.
The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man's heart flowed into his. They embraced and walked away side by side.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Smart Boy
A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.
Teacher: What is your problem?
Boy: I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is. I think I should be in the third-grade too.
The teacher took the boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told her that he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.
The boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: What is 3 x 3? Boy: 9
Principal: What is 6 x 6? Boy: 36
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. "I think the boy can go to the third-grade" , said the principal. The teacher said she had some of her own questions to ask. The principal and the boy agreed.
Teacher: What is it that a cow has four and I have only two? Boy: (after a moment) Legs.
Teacher: What is in your pants that you have but I do not have? Boy: Pockets.
Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Boy: Coconut.
Teacher : What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? The principal's eyes openned really wide and before he could stop the answer, the boy was already answering.
Boy: Bubblegum
Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes openned really wide and before he could stop the answer... Boy: Shake hands.
Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay? Boy: Yep.
Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Boy: Tent
Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large vodka peg..... Boy: Wedding Ring.
Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose
Teacher: I am a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. Boy: Arrow
Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement? Boy: Firetruck.
Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' and if u dont get it u have to use your hand? Boy: Fork.
Teacher : What is it that all men have one. It is longer for some men than for others. The pope doesn't use his. Normally a man gives it to his wife after they're married? Boy: SURNAME.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send this Boy to the University. I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
Smart Boy........isn't.........or naughty....???
Teacher: What is your problem?
Boy: I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is. I think I should be in the third-grade too.
The teacher took the boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told her that he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.
The boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: What is 3 x 3? Boy: 9
Principal: What is 6 x 6? Boy: 36
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. "I think the boy can go to the third-grade" , said the principal. The teacher said she had some of her own questions to ask. The principal and the boy agreed.
Teacher: What is it that a cow has four and I have only two? Boy: (after a moment) Legs.
Teacher: What is in your pants that you have but I do not have? Boy: Pockets.
Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Boy: Coconut.
Teacher : What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? The principal's eyes openned really wide and before he could stop the answer, the boy was already answering.
Boy: Bubblegum
Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes openned really wide and before he could stop the answer... Boy: Shake hands.
Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay? Boy: Yep.
Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Boy: Tent
Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large vodka peg..... Boy: Wedding Ring.
Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose
Teacher: I am a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. Boy: Arrow
Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement? Boy: Firetruck.
Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' and if u dont get it u have to use your hand? Boy: Fork.
Teacher : What is it that all men have one. It is longer for some men than for others. The pope doesn't use his. Normally a man gives it to his wife after they're married? Boy: SURNAME.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send this Boy to the University. I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
Smart Boy........isn't.........or naughty....???
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Raisin Bread
A general store owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt [or general lack thereof] and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea.
"Id like some raisin bread please", the man says politely. The female clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf. The young man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he surmised he would be.
Once she descends the ladder he muses that he really should get two loaves as he's having company for dinner. As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices whats going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon each male patron is asking for raisin bread, just to sre the clerk climb up and down.
After many trips shes tired, irritated and thinking that she is really going to have to try this bread for herself!
Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd staring up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yours raisin too?"
"No," croaks the old man "... But its startin to twitch."
"Id like some raisin bread please", the man says politely. The female clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf. The young man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he surmised he would be.
Once she descends the ladder he muses that he really should get two loaves as he's having company for dinner. As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices whats going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon each male patron is asking for raisin bread, just to sre the clerk climb up and down.
After many trips shes tired, irritated and thinking that she is really going to have to try this bread for herself!
Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd staring up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yours raisin too?"
"No," croaks the old man "... But its startin to twitch."
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