Fee Will Only Be Paid If He Wins The Case

Many years ago, a Law teacher came across a student who was willing to learn but was unable to pay the fees.

The student struck a deal saying, "I will pay your fee the day I win my first case in the court".

Teacher agreed and proceeded with the law course. When the course was finished and teacher started pestering the student to pay up the fee, the student reminded him of the deal and pushed days.

Fed up with this, the teacher decided to sue the student in the court of law and both of them decided to argue for themselves.

The teacher put forward his argument saying: "If I win this case, as per the court of law, the student has to pay me as the case is about his non-payment of dues.

And if I lose the case, student will still pay me because he would have won his first case.

So either way I will have to get the money". Equally brilliant, the student argued back saying: "If I win the case, as per the court of law, I don't have to pay anything to the teacher as the case is about my non-payment of dues. And if I lose the case, I don't have to pay him because I haven't won my first case yet.

So either way, I am not going to pay the teacher anything".

This is one of the greatest paradoxe ' s ever recorded in history.

Little Suzy

Little Suzy raised her hand during a biology lesson and asked if her grandmother could have a baby. The teacher was a bit surprised at the question but answered that the grandmother was too old to have babies.

"So what about my mother?" asked Little Suzy. The teacher said that it was possible, but that her mother was probably getting too old to be having babies as well.

"Well, then could I have a baby?" she wanted to know.

"Goodness no!" said the teacher, "you are much too young."

"See!" yelled Little Johnny from the back of the classroom, "I told you YOU didn't have anything to worry about!"

Another Dumb Blonde

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!'' The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

Johnny Sees Parents Making Love

Johnny’s sleep was disturbed by a rythmic banging from his parents room. He peers round the door and sees his mother sitting astride his father bouncing up and down.

The next morning he asks his mother what she was doing bouncing up and down on daddy’s stomach.

Embarrassed but thinking quickly, she said, “your father has become a little fat recently and bouncing up and down on his stomach helps him lose weight.”

”You’re wasting your time,” replied little Johnny, “the lady from next door comes round every day and blows him back up again.”

Hamburger, coke and some fries

A blonde walks into a library and shouts "I'LL HAVE A HAMBURGER A COKE AND SOME FRIES."
The librarian says, "This is a library."

The blonde says, "Yes I know. I'LL HAVE A HAMBURGER A COKE AND FRIES.''

And the librarian says, one more time, ''But this is a library, miss!"

The blonde goes "Oh," and whispers, "I'll have a hamburger a coke and fries!"

Painful Breakup?

A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan and while he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone, she wanted to break up with him, and she wanted pictures of herself back. So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women that he could find. He then mailed about 45 pictures of women (with clothes and without) to his girlfriend with the following note: "I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your pictures and send the rest back."

Cat On A Roof

A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, ''I'm so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died."

The man was very upset and yelled, ''You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today, you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn't come down. Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away.''

The brother thought about it and apologized.

"So how's Mom?" asked the man.

"She's on the roof and won't come down."