I spent the first day packing my belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, I had the movers come and collect my things. On the third day, I sat down for the last time at our beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of chardonnay. When I had finished, I went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shell dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. I then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When my ex husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. I called my ex husband, and asked how things were going. He told me the saga of the rotting house. I listened politely, and said that I missed the old house terribly, and would be willing to reduce my divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing that I had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if I were to sign the papers that very day. I agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU???!!!!
When my ex husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. I called my ex husband, and asked how things were going. He told me the saga of the rotting house. I listened politely, and said that I missed the old house terribly, and would be willing to reduce my divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing that I had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if I were to sign the papers that very day. I agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU???!!!!
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