Arrested for laughing

This is from an actual trial in the UK:

A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When
she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated
on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more
amused. She moved again and then on her third move he burst out
laughing.

She had him arrested. Then the case came before the court, the young man
was asked why he acted in such a manner.

His reply was:
When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was
pregnant. She sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Coming Soon: The
Gold Dust Twins'.

I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement,
which read: 'William's Stick Did The Trick'.

Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move
sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Dunlop Rubber would have
prevented this accident.'

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Best Beer of All

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.

The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."

Extraordinary Animals in the Womb

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